Why Nica doesn't have family dinners
by evemiliana
Summary: This is why Nicaragua doesn't have family dinners more often. Rated T for cursing, pissed of departments, and underage drinking. oneshot


_**Alrighty, my last oneshot made me depressed, so I decided to write a oneshot about the departments~ Let's watch why the hell Nicaragua doesn't have them all for dinner very often.**_

_**Disclaimer: I only own my OC's. And even then they're owned by the Nicaraguan Government in real life. And I don't own Budapest either.**_

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><p>Nicaragua was pissed. Anyone could see that. If it wasn't the fact that her left eye was twitching that gave it away then it was definitely because of how tightly she was holding the tablecloth. If anyone asked why she didn't have family dinner with her departments more often then she would probably yell at them. They were a close family, it was just that …. Her departments could be so <strong>annoying.<strong>

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><p>León was fighting with Granada again, for starters. The bespectacled department looked like she couldn't care less about the rather… fierce department she was seated across from. Norte and Sur* were in their own little world again, talking about how great the waves were and wondering why their skin tone was slightly darker than their other siblings. Matagalpa had gotten drunk. Again. He was currently on top of the table speaking in rapid German with some Spanish mixed in there. Masaya was smiling happily and talking to Carazo, who was rather annoyed at her chipperness. Rivas was glaring at his almost twin brother Rio San Juan and going off on a guilt trip war. And that was just before the main course started.<p>

"León, could you stop having a onesided argument with Granada long enough to pass the gallo pinto?" Estelí asked, looking rather annoyed at her southern neighbor.

"Shut up Dora the Explorer. The great León has no time for your petty requests" León retorted.

"W-well, it's not MY fault that America decided to rip off my human name and hair style for his crappy children's show!" Estelí sputtered, blushing in anger and pulling up her hood so she could hide in it.

"Estelí, no hoods at the table" Nicaragua sighed, reprimanding her 13 year old department. Estelí pouted and took off her hood, but then started sinking lower in her chair.

"No slouching either"

"DAMMIT MAMÁ!"

Nicaragua sighed and continued eating her steak.

New Segovia and Madriz looked at their third member of their trio sympathetically. _Poor __Estelí inherited Mamá__'s cursing issue"_ They both thought.

Boaco and Chontales smirked at Managua, who seemed to be the only sane department at the moment.

"Oi, Managua~" Boaco singsonged.

"Que?" Managua asked glaring at Boaco, who had nothing but trouble in his mind.

"We know~" Chontales said, with the same singsong voice.

"You know what?" Managua asked as he started to drink his water.

"That you have a new girlfriend~ "both sang at the same time.

"This caused Managua to do a spit take on poor Jinotega, and glare at the two troublemakers.

"Where the hell did you hear that?" he growled.

"pfft, we see her all the time with you" Boaco said innocently.

"Sí. And you and her go EVERYWHERE" Chontales continued.

"B-Budapest and I are just friends!" Managua yelped, his face starting to go red.

"Aw, he looks like a little tomato~" Boaco smiled happily, poking his cheek.

"S-shut up, you assholes…" Managua muttered, continuing to eat.

Chinandega looked at Managua sympathetically. _It makes me glad that the only annoying one I have to deal with is León._ She thought. She then sighed and was about to pass the salad when her hand slipped and the glass bowl broke. _Dammit not again..._

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><p>Come dessert, Nicaragua looked like she was ready to explode. Estelí was now in a shouting match against León, Matagalpa had passed out on the floor, after he vomited of course, and Boaco and Chontales were still teasing Managua about his not-girlfriend Budapest. Norte and Sur had gotten bored and were now trying to find Nicaragua's baseball bat (she had hidden it) and Rivas and Rio San Juan were still arguing.<p>

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Nicaragua finally yelled. It suddenly got deathly quiet. Even León knew not to mess with Mamá when she was pissed.

"Everyone, you will now put your plates in the sink and you will find something productive to do while I go put Matagalpa to bed. Is everyone CLEAR?"

All of the departments nodded quickly and started to do as their Mamá had asked. Unfortunately, the peace did not last long. For Nicaragua's German Shepard Pelucha then decided to come inside through the doggy door.

Pelucha strutted right up to the passed out Matagalpa. The dog then started to lick his face. The 12 year old alcoholic groaned and tried to make the dog stop by bopping Pelucha's head like an alarm clock. Norte and Sur thought it looked fun to annoy their youngest sibling as well and started poking Matagalpa. Boaco and Chontales then dropped their plates onto the floor by mistake. Thinking it looked like fun, New Segovia dropped his plate onto the floor. Soon there was a bunch of clatters as a bunch of other departments thought it would be fun too. Managua's head started hurting from the random clatters and just decided to go pull Pelucha off of Matagalpa, who was still bopping the German Shepard's head.

Nicaragua sweatdropped at the scene before her. She then had a look of annoyance, and then gave up. "Fuck this, I'm going to bed" She said to herself, waving off her kids. She then walked up to her room ,put in earplugs, and went to bed.

So the reason why Nicaragua doesn't have family dinner's more often? Because if she did, her house would have been destroyed by now.

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><p><strong><em>* Norte and Sure are twins. They are the Autonomous North Atlantic Region, and the Autonomous South Atlantic region. They're where Nicaragua's Caribbean population is, which is why they have a darker skin tone than their other siblings. <em>**

_**And Matagalpa is where Nicaragua's German population is, which is why he drinks even though he's 12. You can't keep the booze away from a German. Or a Nicaraguan. It's just not possible**_

_**I had an idea for this, and just decided to go with it. And Budapest is not my OC. That is Choco Nana's OC and I thank her kindly for letting me reference … my second oneshot today… This one took a lot less time to write.**_


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